The A - Z of Bullying in Schools
ADvTECH Group • March 25, 2022
Whatever form it takes, bullying has long-term detrimental effects on all involved. Here’s what you need to know to empower your child.
South Africa’s schools are seeing more bullying than ever before, with recent studies showing that 58% of our country’s learners have experienced bullying of some form.
What’s more, the high rate of violence towards women and children in this country means that kids are not shielded from violent acts. Statistics show that many children who are identified as bullies in their schools have been exposed to violence in their homes.
It’s not a problem that is easily solved, but bullying in schools is also a problem that needs to be faced head-on by schools, parents, victims and perpetrators alike. To do this, bullying first has to be understood.
Types of bullying
Verbal and written bullying happens when things are said or written, and include name-calling, teasing, negative comments, intimidation, threatening notes, text, SMS's.
Physical bullying happens whenever a person’s body or person is hurt. This includes hitting, kicking, biting, spitting, pushing, shouldering, tripping, taking or breaking someone’s things, as well as making rude hand gestures or rolling eyes.
Social bullying is also called relational bullying as it involves hurting a person’s relationships or reputation. This includes spreading rumours about someone, embarrassing someone in public, making things up to get someone into trouble, leaving someone out on purpose, telling others not to be friends with someone, and revealing private information.
Cyberbullying is something that anyone with a cellphone is at risk of. It includes more than threatening text and SMS's – social networks, digital platforms, emails, and the like all fall under this category.
When these behaviours are bullying, they are aggressive and include two important factors:
An imbalance of power, meaning that the bully has intentionally set out to hurt and control the victim, giving them power over them.
Repetition. Bullying either happens more than once, or the behaviour has the potential to happen more than once.
Effects of bullying
While bullying in schools is a very real threat to our children, it can be something our kids don’t want to talk to us about. Look out for these signs in your child, as they can be red flags on something going on:
- Has unexplained bruises, scratches or wounds.
- Belongings have gone inexplicably missing or been damaged.
- Your child is moody, irritable and angry without explanation.
- Your child’s self-esteem drops or they feel inferior to others.
- Suddenly not wanting to go to school.
- Losing interest in favourite school activities.
- Quality of schoolwork or academic performance suddenly decreases.
- Suddenly prefers the company of adults or avoids social situations with peers.
- Physical symptoms like stomach aches, headaches.
- Your child talks about being anxious, depressed, or has panic attacks.
- Nightmares and trouble sleeping.
- Your child talks about avoiding parts of the school or neighbourhood.
- Your child starts bullying others.
- Behavioural problems or ‘acting out’.
- Making friends with the wrong ‘crowd’.
- Your child talks about suicide.
Dealing with bullying
Crawford International schools have strict no-bullying processes in place, and our Code of Conduct can be found here – bullying is not permitted or tolerated.
The most important step in dealing with bullying is to tell someone about it – whether that be a teacher, friend, parent, sibling. It has to be brought out into the open. Here are some more ways of dealing with bullying:
- Firstly, always teach your child to speak out. Bullying is shameful, but they need to know they can talk to you or their teachers about it. Teach your child how to stand up for themselves assertively, without aggression or retaliation.
- If your child does tell you about bullying at school, listen to them and don’t trivialise how they’re feeling or sweep it under the rug. They may be feeling embarrassed, scared, ashamed, so help them through their feelings too.
- Then, tell your child you will immediately look into it and report what they have told you to the school, and then do this. Find out what happened, who was involved, how often and where it happened so you have the facts.
- Don’t retaliate against the bully or their family yourself.
- Always support your child and get help – find info for more resources below.
- Check with your child’s school and teacher on what steps are to follow after you report the incident.
- Tell your child to speak to a teacher or authority figure every day to update them on how things are going.
- Always know what your child is doing, where they are, and who they’re with.
- Teach your child to spend break and time before or after school in areas where there are lots of other people around.
- Also teach your child to tell a teacher immediately if anyone hurts them in any way, and to get them to write it down.
- It’s also a good idea to teach your child to tell someone if they see any bullying happening at school. They can do this safely, without the bully noticing.
- Seek counselling to help you and your child deal with the bullying and feelings it brings up – depression and anxiety are real and nothing to be ashamed of.
However, when it comes to cyberbullying we all need to be more vigilant and equip our kids with the tools they need if they run into anything fishy on the net. We need to teach our children about the pitfalls of digital life, and the safety precautions to help protect them. The Department of Basic Education has provided schools with guidelines on social media and social networking to guide them in this area. The South African Police force also have these tips:
- Make an effort to chat to your children about their online lives – know what they’re up to and talk about things openly, and set limits with technology.
- Be careful who your child gives their number to and teach them not to share personal info online, especially not your full names, address, parent’s banking details, schools address and friend’s personal details.
- Likewise, your children should never put something online that they wouldn’t want you or their classmates to see. They also shouldn’t post anything or send messages when they are upset or angry.
- Don’t respond to cyberbullies, especially not with similar messages, threats or posts.
- Save the evidence – take screenshots, save them, record the dates and times of the incidences, print out emails and messages.
- Block the bully using the setting on your phone, message app, and social platforms.
- Always reach out for help – you and your child don’t have to deal with bullying alone.
What if my child is the bully?
Bullying behaviour often comes from a background where there is insecurity, little parent involvement, and inconsistency in the actions of parents. Bullies are often subjected to physical punishment and emotional outbursts.
Before formal counselling is necessary, the bully must realise that his/her behaviour is always going to have negative consequences until the behaviour is changed. If you are bullying, think about how it would make you feel if people were making fun of you, harassing you or stealing your lunch money? I am sure that it would make you feel awful – afraid and alone.
You are probably already aware that what you are doing is wrong. If that is true, then take the first step to stop your behaviour. Ask yourself:
- What made me start bullying?
- Why do I pick on people?
- How does it make me feel when I am bullying somebody?
- If I want to, how do I stop?
If you are uncertain about what happens after you stop bullying, then speak to someone, a parent, a friend, a teacher, someone you trust not to judge you.
Helpful questions for the bully:
- Why do you feel the need to bully others?
- Do you understand that your actions are hurting someone?
- What did you want to achieve?
- How will you change your behaviour so that you don’t hurt anyone?
The bully must learn the following:
- To accept responsibility for their behaviour.
- To accept responsibility for the consequences of their actions for themselves.
- To become uncomfortable (my behaviour got me into trouble and I want to avoid it next time).
- To change their behaviour to stay out of trouble.
- To find other ways of satisfying their needs.
- To feel remorseful about the impact their actions have had.
- To trust others.
- To build relationships with supportive adults.
Getting help
It’s always best to chat to your child’s school the second you hear about anything that sounds like bullying happening. You can also find advice and help by reaching out to Childline by dialling 116 or reporting serious incidences to the police. In addition here are dedicated anti-bullying and anti-violence organisations like Cool2BeKind, Safer Spaces and 1000 Women Trust.
What Does Your Child Need to Thrive at School? Choosing a school is about more than looking at academic results, facilities, or extracurricular activities. Parents also want to know whether their child will feel supported, understood and encouraged to grow. Every child is different, so there is no single formula for helping them thrive at school. However, there are some important things that can make a real difference to a child's experience, from strong teaching and individual support to opportunities to build confidence and independence. So, what should parents look for when choosing a school? A strong academic foundation Learning is at the heart of school and children need the right support to develop strong academic foundations. This includes teachers who can explain concepts clearly, recognise when a student is finding something difficult, and provide opportunities for students to extend themselves. It is also worth looking beyond grades. Ask how the school encourages students to become curious, ask questions and take an active interest in their learning. A positive approach to learning can help children develop skills that stay with them long after a particular test or subject has been completed. A school environment where your child feels supported Children spend a significant part of their day at school, so the environment around them matters. A supportive school should give students a sense of belonging and create an environment where they feel comfortable asking for help, making mistakes and trying again. Relationships with teachers and other students can have an important part to play in this. When visiting a school, notice how people interact. Do students seem comfortable and engaged? Do teachers take the time to listen? These everyday interactions can tell you a great deal about the school experience your child may have. Teachers who see the individual Your child is more than their academic results. They have their own interests, strengths, challenges and ways of learning. Teachers who understand this can help students feel seen and supported as individuals. This might mean providing additional support when a student is struggling, offering greater challenge when they are ready for it, or finding different ways to help them engage with a subject. When considering a school, ask how teachers get to know their students and how the school responds when a child needs additional support. Opportunities beyond the classroom School is not only about what happens during a lesson. Sport, music, creative activities, leadership and cultural opportunities can give children different ways to discover what they enjoy and where their strengths lie. These experiences can also help students develop confidence, teamwork and responsibility. For some children, an activity outside the classroom may be where they find their confidence or discover an interest that becomes an important part of who they are. Ask what opportunities are available and how students are encouraged to get involved. Space to become more independent As children grow, they need opportunities to take increasing responsibility for themselves and their learning. This could include setting goals, managing tasks, making choices and learning how to respond when something does not go according to plan. A school that gradually gives students more independence can help them develop confidence in their own abilities. Parents can ask how students are encouraged to take responsibility and how this changes as they move through the school. A partnership between school and home Children benefit when the adults supporting them are working together. Clear communication between parents and the school can help families understand how their child is progressing and where additional support may be useful. When choosing a school, it is worth asking how the school communicates with parents, how progress is shared and who parents can speak to if they have a concern or question. A strong relationship between home and school can help create consistency for a child and make it easier to support them as their needs change. Think about what your child needs to thrive There is no one-size-fits-all answer to what children need from school. One child may need more academic challenge, while another may benefit from additional support or more opportunities to build confidence. Some children thrive through sport or creative activities, while others are happiest when they can explore ideas and work independently. The important thing is to consider your child as an individual. Think about their personality, interests, strengths and areas where they may need support, and then look for a school environment that can help them develop across all of these areas. See the school experience for yourself Ultimately, choosing a school is about finding an environment where your child can learn, grow and feel that they belong. A school's website and prospectus can tell you what it offers, but visiting the school can help you understand what the experience actually feels like. Meet the teachers, see the classrooms, observe the students and ask the questions that matter to your family. At Crawford International, families have the opportunity to experience the school environment for themselves and discover how students are supported throughout their school journey. Choosing a school is not only about what happens in the classroom. It is about finding a place where your child can be supported, challenged and encouraged to become the best version of themselves. Book a personalised tour at your chosen Crawford International campus and discover the experience for yourself.
Does Success at School Have to Mean Straight A's? For many parents, academic results are one of the clearest ways to measure how a child is doing at school. Good marks can be a source of pride and can open doors to future opportunities. But does success at school have to mean achieving straight A's? Academic achievement is important, but a child’s school experience is about more than a report card. Success can look different for every student and recognising that difference can help children develop a healthier, more confident approach to learning. Marks matter, but they are not the whole picture Strong academic performance can reflect hard work, understanding and commitment. Schools have a responsibility to provide students with the knowledge and skills they need to achieve their academic goals and prepare for their next steps. At the same time, marks do not always capture everything a child is learning or how much they are growing. A student who becomes more confident speaking in class, learns how to manage a difficult subject or perseveres after making a mistake is experiencing meaningful progress, even if that progress is not immediately reflected in a higher mark. What does success look like beyond As? A broader view of school success can include a range of personal and academic milestones, such as: Becoming more confident in asking questions and sharing ideas. Developing resilience when faced with challenges or setbacks. Learning to work effectively with others. Discovering an interest or talent in a new area. Taking greater responsibility for learning and personal goals. Developing leadership, communication and problem-solving skills. Every child has a different path Children do not all learn in the same way or at the same pace. One student may excel academically from an early age, while another may need more time and encouragement before a subject clicks. Some may find their confidence through sport, music, art or leadership, while others discover it through academic challenges. This does not mean lowering expectations. Instead, it means understanding that high expectations and individual support can work together. Children should be encouraged to aim high while also being given the guidance they need to recognise their own progress. The importance of confidence and resilience School inevitably comes with challenges. Students will encounter subjects they find difficult, assignments that do not go to plan and moments when they may not achieve the result they hoped for. Learning how to respond to these experiences is an important part of growing. A child who understands that a setback is not a definition of their ability is more likely to try again, ask for help and keep going. Over time, these experiences can build resilience and a willingness to embrace challenges rather than avoid them. Making room for different kinds of achievement A well-rounded school experience gives students opportunities to succeed in different ways. Sport can develop teamwork and discipline. Cultural and creative activities can encourage self-expression. Leadership opportunities can build confidence and responsibility. Academic challenges can strengthen knowledge, critical thinking and problem-solving. These experiences do not compete with academic achievement. They can complement it, helping students develop the wider skills and qualities they need to navigate future study, work and life. How parents can think about success Parents can play an important role by looking beyond individual marks and asking broader questions. What is your child enjoying? What are they finding challenging? Where have they grown in confidence? What new skills or interests have they discovered? Celebrating effort, improvement and perseverance alongside academic achievement can help children understand that success is not about being perfect. It is about learning, growing and continuing to move forward. A broader definition of success Straight A's can be an achievement worth celebrating, but they are not the only measure of a successful school experience. True success can also be seen in a student who becomes more confident, learns to persevere, discovers a passion, or begins to believe in what they are capable of. At Crawford International, academic excellence is supported by opportunities for students to develop their interests, confidence and wider skills. This balanced approach recognises that every student has different strengths and that success is about helping each child make meaningful progress while preparing them for what comes next. As a school, the goal of education is not simply to collect the highest marks. It is to help young people develop their knowledge, character and confidence to make the most of their potential. Discover our holistic approach to education by booking a personalised tour.
What Can You Really Learn From a School Tour? Choosing a school is about more than comparing websites, prospectuses and academic results. While these can provide useful information, there is something different about seeing a school in person. A school tour gives parents the opportunity to experience the environment where their child could spend some of their most formative years. But what should you actually look for on a school tour? Beyond the buildings and facilities, a visit can tell you a great deal about the school’s culture, its approach to learning and whether it feels like the right fit for your child. Look beyond the facilities Modern classrooms, sports fields, libraries and technology can all contribute to a positive school experience, but facilities are only part of the picture. During a school tour, pay attention to how spaces are used and how students interact within them. Are classrooms welcoming and purposeful? Do students appear engaged? Are there spaces that encourage collaboration, creativity and independent work? These details can give you a better understanding of how the school environment supports everyday learning. Notice how teachers and students interact One of the most valuable things to observe on a school tour is the relationship between teachers and students. A school can tell you about its values, but seeing those values in action can be much more revealing. Notice whether students appear comfortable asking questions and speaking with their teachers. Consider how teachers communicate with students and whether interactions feel respectful, encouraging and supportive. These everyday moments can provide insight into the kind of experience your child may have in the classroom. Get a feel for the school culture School culture can be difficult to understand from a website alone. Listen to what you hear in corridors and classrooms, notice how students move around campus, and consider whether you can picture your child feeling welcome, known and confident there. These impressions may not appear in a prospectus, but they can be some of the most useful things you take away from a visit. Ask ab es out Values You can also ask about the values the school prioritises. How does it support student wellbeing? How are relationships and respect encouraged? What opportunities do students have to contribute to the school community? The answers can help you understand what life at the school is really like. Ask how students are encouraged to grow A strong education should provide more than academic knowledge. During your tour, ask how the school helps students discover their interests, build confidence and develop skills beyond the classroom. Find out about opportunities in sport, culture, leadership, creative activities, clubs and other enrichment programmes. These experiences can help students explore their strengths and develop qualities such as teamwork, resilience, communication and independence. Ask the questions that matter to your child Every child has different needs, interests and ambitions, so there is no universal checklist for a school tour. Think about what matters most to your child before you visit and use the opportunity to ask specific questions. What does a typical day look like for a student in my child's age group? What support is available if my child needs extra help or wants to be stretched further? What opportunities do students have to take part in sport, culture, leadership or creative activities? How does the school communicate with parents? How are students encouraged to take responsibility for their learning? Trust what you see and how you feel A school tour is also an opportunity to consider whether you can picture your child being happy and confident in that environment. Does the school feel welcoming? Do the students seem engaged? Do the teachers appear approachable? Can you imagine your child feeling known, supported and encouraged to grow? These impressions may not appear in a prospectus, but they can be some of the most useful things you take away from a visit. See the school experience for yourself Ultimately, a school tour can turn a list of facts into a real sense of what a school offers. It allows parents to look beyond academic results and facilities and see the people, relationships and environment that shape a student’s everyday experience. This is why visiting a school matters. At Crawford International, families have the opportunity to see the school environment, meet teachers and experience the community for themselves. Choosing a school is not only about what it offers, but whether it is a place where your child can learn, grow and thrive. At Crawford International, personalised tours are arranged directly with your chosen campus, giving you and your family the chance to meet our teachers and students on a day that suits you Book a personalised tour and discover the Crawford International experience for yourself.
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Helping Your Child Transition Back to School After the Holidays The end of the school holidays often brings a mix of emotions for both children and parents. While many students look forward to seeing their friends and teachers again, others may feel nervous about returning to routines, new classrooms or the challenges of a new term. A smooth transition back to school doesn't happen overnight. With a little preparation and a positive approach, families can help children return feeling confident, organised and ready to learn. The key is to focus on creating healthy routines, encouraging open conversations and making the first few days back feel exciting rather than overwhelming. Re-establish a School Routine Before the First Day One of the easiest ways to prepare your child for the new school term is to begin reintroducing their school routine a few days before classes resume. Gradually adjust bedtimes and morning wake-up times to match the school schedule. This gives children time to reset their body clocks, making those early mornings much easier when the term begins. You can also use this time to prepare school uniforms, organise stationery and pack school bags together. These small tasks help children feel organised and reduce first-day stress. Talk Positively About Returning to School Children often take emotional cues from the adults around them. Speaking positively about the new school term can help build excitement and confidence. Ask your child what they are looking forward to. It could be seeing friends, participating in sport, joining a cultural activity or learning something new. If they have concerns, listen without dismissing their feelings and reassure them that it's normal to feel a little uncertain after a long break. Simple conversations can go a long way in helping children feel emotionally prepared for the transition back to school. Encourage Healthy Habits Returning to school is a great opportunity to re-establish healthy daily habits that support learning and wellbeing. Encourage regular meals, enough sleep, daily movement and balanced screen time. These habits not only support physical health but also improve concentration, energy levels and overall readiness for the classroom. Children thrive when they have a consistent routine that balances learning, rest and play. Help Your Child Set Small Goals A new school term offers a fresh start. Encourage your child to think about one or two realistic goals they would like to achieve. These goals don't have to be purely academic. They could include improving time management, participating more in class, joining a new activity, reading more often or simply becoming more organised. Focusing on small, achievable goals helps children build confidence and creates a sense of purpose for the weeks ahead. Stay Connected with Your Child's School A successful school experience is built on a strong partnership between home and school. Taking an active interest in your child's learning helps them feel supported and reinforces the importance of education. Regular communication with teachers, attending school events and checking in with your child about their day all contribute to a positive learning experience. Even simple questions such as "What was the best part of your day?" can encourage meaningful conversations about school. Be Patient During the Adjustment Period Not every child settles back into routine immediately. Some may be tired during the first week, while others may need extra reassurance as they adjust to classroom expectations again. Be patient and celebrate the small wins. Whether it's waking up on time, completing homework independently or returning home with a positive story about their day, these moments all contribute to a successful transition. Remember that confidence grows through encouragement, consistency and support. Key Takeaways Begin preparing for the new school term a few days before school starts. Re-establish healthy sleep, morning and after-school routines. Talk positively about returning to school and encourage open conversations. Support your child's wellbeing through healthy habits and balanced routines. Help your child set small, achievable goals for the new term. Build a strong partnership with your child's school. Be patient as children adjust and celebrate their progress along the way. Returning to school marks the beginning of another exciting chapter of learning and growth. By creating positive routines, encouraging confidence and supporting your child's wellbeing, parents can help make the transition back to school a positive experience for the whole family.
Helping Your Child Transition Back to School After the Holidays The end of the school holidays often brings a mix of emotions for both children and parents. While many students look forward to seeing their friends and teachers again, others may feel nervous about returning to routines, new classrooms or the challenges of a new term. A smooth transition back to school doesn't happen overnight. With a little preparation and a positive approach, families can help children return feeling confident, organised and ready to learn. The key is to focus on creating healthy routines, encouraging open conversations and making the first few days back feel exciting rather than overwhelming. Re-establish a School Routine Before the First Day One of the easiest ways to prepare your child for the new school term is to begin reintroducing their school routine a few days before classes resume. Gradually adjust bedtimes and morning wake-up times to match the school schedule. This gives children time to reset their body clocks, making those early mornings much easier when the term begins. You can also use this time to prepare school uniforms, organise stationery and pack school bags together. These small tasks help children feel organised and reduce first-day stress. Talk Positively About Returning to School Children often take emotional cues from the adults around them. Speaking positively about the new school term can help build excitement and confidence. Ask your child what they are looking forward to. It could be seeing friends, participating in sport, joining a cultural activity or learning something new. If they have concerns, listen without dismissing their feelings and reassure them that it's normal to feel a little uncertain after a long break. Simple conversations can go a long way in helping children feel emotionally prepared for the transition back to school. Encourage Healthy Habits Returning to school is a great opportunity to re-establish healthy daily habits that support learning and wellbeing. Encourage regular meals, enough sleep, daily movement and balanced screen time. These habits not only support physical health but also improve concentration, energy levels and overall readiness for the classroom. Children thrive when they have a consistent routine that balances learning, rest and play. Help Your Child Set Small Goals A new school term offers a fresh start. Encourage your child to think about one or two realistic goals they would like to achieve. These goals don't have to be purely academic. They could include improving time management, participating more in class, joining a new activity, reading more often or simply becoming more organised. Focusing on small, achievable goals helps children build confidence and creates a sense of purpose for the weeks ahead. Stay Connected with Your Child's School A successful school experience is built on a strong partnership between home and school. Taking an active interest in your child's learning helps them feel supported and reinforces the importance of education. Regular communication with teachers, attending school events and checking in with your child about their day all contribute to a positive learning experience. Even simple questions such as "What was the best part of your day?" can encourage meaningful conversations about school. Be Patient During the Adjustment Period Not every child settles back into routine immediately. Some may be tired during the first week, while others may need extra reassurance as they adjust to classroom expectations again. Be patient and celebrate the small wins. Whether it's waking up on time, completing homework independently or returning home with a positive story about their day, these moments all contribute to a successful transition. Remember that confidence grows through encouragement, consistency and support. Key Takeaways Begin preparing for the new school term a few days before school starts. Re-establish healthy sleep, morning and after-school routines. Talk positively about returning to school and encourage open conversations. Support your child's wellbeing through healthy habits and balanced routines. Help your child set small, achievable goals for the new term. Build a strong partnership with your child's school. Be patient as children adjust and celebrate their progress along the way. Returning to school marks the beginning of another exciting chapter of learning and growth. By creating positive routines, encouraging confidence and supporting your child's wellbeing, parents can help make the transition back to school a positive experience for the whole family.
