Blog Post

Whatever form it takes, bullying has long-term detrimental effects on all involved. Here’s what you need to know to empower your child.

South Africa’s schools are seeing more bullying than ever before, with recent studies showing that 58% of our country’s learners have experienced bullying of some form.


What’s more, the high rate of violence towards women and children in this country means that kids are not shielded from violent acts. Statistics show that many children who are identified as bullies in their schools have been exposed to violence in their homes.


It’s not a problem that is easily solved, but bullying in schools is also a problem that needs to be faced head-on by schools, parents, victims and perpetrators alike. To do this, bullying first has to be understood.


Types of bullying


Verbal and written bullying happens when things are said or written, and include name-calling, teasing, negative comments, intimidation, threatening notes, text, SMS's.


Physical bullying happens whenever a person’s body or person is hurt. This includes hitting, kicking, biting, spitting, pushing, shouldering, tripping, taking or breaking someone’s things, as well as making rude hand gestures or rolling eyes.


Social bullying is also called relational bullying as it involves hurting a person’s relationships or reputation. This includes spreading rumours about someone, embarrassing someone in public, making things up to get someone into trouble, leaving someone out on purpose, telling others not to be friends with someone, and revealing private information.


Cyberbullying is something that anyone with a cellphone is at risk of. It includes more than threatening text and SMS's – social networks, digital platforms, emails, and the like all fall under this category.


When these behaviours are bullying, they are aggressive and include two important factors:


An imbalance of power, meaning that the bully has intentionally set out to hurt and control the victim, giving them power over them.


Repetition. Bullying either happens more than once, or the behaviour has the potential to happen more than once.


Effects of bullying

While bullying in schools is a very real threat to our children, it can be something our kids don’t want to talk to us about. Look out for these signs in your child, as they can be red flags on something going on:


  • Has unexplained bruises, scratches or wounds.
  • Belongings have gone inexplicably missing or been damaged.
  • Your child is moody, irritable and angry without explanation.
  • Your child’s self-esteem drops or they feel inferior to others.
  • Suddenly not wanting to go to school.
  • Losing interest in favourite school activities.
  • Quality of schoolwork or academic performance suddenly decreases.
  • Suddenly prefers the company of adults or avoids social situations with peers.
  • Physical symptoms like stomach aches, headaches.
  • Your child talks about being anxious, depressed, or has panic attacks.
  • Nightmares and trouble sleeping.
  • Your child talks about avoiding parts of the school or neighbourhood.
  • Your child starts bullying others.
  • Behavioural problems or ‘acting out’.
  • Making friends with the wrong ‘crowd’.
  • Your child talks about suicide.


Dealing with bullying


Crawford International schools have strict no-bullying processes in place, and our Code of Conduct can be found here – bullying is not permitted or tolerated.


The most important step in dealing with bullying is to tell someone about it – whether that be a teacher, friend, parent, sibling. It has to be brought out into the open. Here are some more ways of dealing with bullying:


  • Firstly, always teach your child to speak out. Bullying is shameful, but they need to know they can talk to you or their teachers about it. Teach your child how to stand up for themselves assertively, without aggression or retaliation.
  • If your child does tell you about bullying at school, listen to them and don’t trivialise how they’re feeling or sweep it under the rug. They may be feeling embarrassed, scared, ashamed, so help them through their feelings too.
  • Then, tell your child you will immediately look into it and report what they have told you to the school, and then do this. Find out what happened, who was involved, how often and where it happened so you have the facts.
  • Don’t retaliate against the bully or their family yourself.
  • Always support your child and get help – find info for more resources below.
  • Check with your child’s school and teacher on what steps are to follow after you report the incident.
  • Tell your child to speak to a teacher or authority figure every day to update them on how things are going.
  • Always know what your child is doing, where they are, and who they’re with.
  • Teach your child to spend break and time before or after school in areas where there are lots of other people around.
  • Also teach your child to tell a teacher immediately if anyone hurts them in any way, and to get them to write it down.
  • It’s also a good idea to teach your child to tell someone if they see any bullying happening at school. They can do this safely, without the bully noticing.
  • Seek counselling to help you and your child deal with the bullying and feelings it brings up – depression and anxiety are real and nothing to be ashamed of.

 

However, when it comes to cyberbullying we all need to be more vigilant and equip our kids with the tools they need if they run into anything fishy on the net. We need to teach our children about the pitfalls of digital life, and the safety precautions to help protect them. The Department of Basic Education has provided schools with guidelines on social media and social networking to guide them in this area. The South African Police force also have these tips:


  • Make an effort to chat to your children about their online lives – know what they’re up to and talk about things openly, and set limits with technology.
  • Be careful who your child gives their number to and teach them not to share personal info online, especially not your full names, address, parent’s banking details, schools address and friend’s personal details.
  • Likewise, your children should never put something online that they wouldn’t want you or their classmates to see. They also shouldn’t post anything or send messages when they are upset or angry.
  • Don’t respond to cyberbullies, especially not with similar messages, threats or posts.
  • Save the evidence – take screenshots, save them, record the dates and times of the incidences, print out emails and messages.
  • Block the bully using the setting on your phone, message app, and social platforms.
  • Always reach out for help – you and your child don’t have to deal with bullying alone.


What if my child is the bully?


Bullying behaviour often comes from a background where there is insecurity, little parent involvement, and inconsistency in the actions of parents. Bullies are often subjected to physical punishment and emotional outbursts.

Before formal counselling is necessary, the bully must realise that his/her behaviour is always going to have negative consequences until the behaviour is changed. If you are bullying, think about how it would make you feel if people were making fun of you, harassing you or stealing your lunch money? I am sure that it would make you feel awful – afraid and alone.


You are probably already aware that what you are doing is wrong. If that is true, then take the first step to stop your behaviour. Ask yourself:


  • What made me start bullying?
  • Why do I pick on people?
  • How does it make me feel when I am bullying somebody?
  • If I want to, how do I stop?


If you are uncertain about what happens after you stop bullying, then speak to someone, a parent, a friend, a teacher, someone you trust not to judge you.


Helpful questions for the bully: 


  • Why do you feel the need to bully others?
  • Do you understand that your actions are hurting someone?
  • What did you want to achieve?
  • How will you change your behaviour so that you don’t hurt anyone?


The bully must learn the following:


  • To accept responsibility for their behaviour.
  • To accept responsibility for the consequences of their actions for themselves.
  • To become uncomfortable (my behaviour got me into trouble and I want to avoid it next time).
  • To change their behaviour to stay out of trouble.
  • To find other ways of satisfying their needs.
  • To feel remorseful about the impact their actions have had.
  • To trust others.
  • To build relationships with supportive adults.

 

Getting help


It’s always best to chat to your child’s school the second you hear about anything that sounds like bullying happening. You can also find advice and help by reaching out to Childline by dialling 116 or reporting serious incidences to the police. In addition here are dedicated anti-bullying and anti-violence organisations like Cool2BeKind, Safer Spaces and 1000 Women Trust.


03 May, 2024
Change Artist School : Crawford International Sandton Year : 1997 Deborah Weber, an alumna of Crawford International Sandton, is an inspiration in the realm of contemporary art. Known for her collaborative art projects and installations, her creativity not only calls for social justice, but it also transcends boundaries, ignites conversations, and drives change. How did Crawford International influence your journey as an artist, and advocate for social justice? My formative years at Crawford International Sandton were instrumental in shaping my perspective on the world. The school's commitment to fostering critical thinking and nurturing individuality and creativity provided me with a platform to explore complex issues. There were always engaging discussions, mentorship from inspiring teachers, and exposure to new ways of thinking. This all led to creative expression. When did you decide that art would be your career choice? Discovering my passion for art and drama at Crawford, I decided then to pursue a career in the arts. After school I enrolled at the University of Cape Town, where I completed my master’s in fine arts. Your art often tackles pressing social issues. How do you approach the intersection of art and social justice in your work? For me, art serves as a powerful medium to challenge systemic injustices, provoke meaningful dialogue and catalyse change. As a young artist I focussed on performance and video installation, and over the past decade I’ve been working in collaboration with groups of artists on projects that shed light on important issues, such as: social injustice, land restitution, gender-based violence, and environmental degradation. The works ask viewers to confront uncomfortable truths and to ask difficult questions. Our projects have been exhibited at Museums across the country and internationally! What advice would you give your 17-year-old self? If I could go back, I’d tell my younger self to trust in her own voice and not be afraid to fail. It's easy to feel uncertain about the future but true fulfilment comes from staying true to yourself and following your passions. I would encourage her to cultivate resilience and to try working in different mediums. She must experiment and play! Can you tell us about your latest artistic project and series? During the isolation imposed by Covid, I had to turn inward and focus on my own solo artistic practice. My current body of work emerged from that introspection, and I now have a more individual approach to connecting with viewers and their emotions. In this approach, the methods of automatism and automatic drawing became an important mechanism for me, and I have explored new mediums of painting and ceramics in this regard. What messages do you hope to convey through this body of work? I want to explore the emotional potential held by art which enables the viewer to access states of being in the unconscious mind. The “feeling individual” is never an island, but is always part of a larger community. My work aims to gives shape to emotional states, either in response to events in the wider social or political environment or from a deeply personal inner world. In this body of work the viewer becomes the interlocutor between the unconscious; a world of meaning and own emotion. The works are mostly playful, sometimes menacing, irreverent, vibrant or perplexing, but all ask the viewer to experience the power of their own emotional responses to the works. Who are you, outside the fine lines of artistry? I enjoy spending time with loved ones, that includes my amazing husband, son and family. We love to spend time in nature and travel and hiking are our favourite past times. I believe in living a life guided by compassion and curiosity, both in my work and in my everyday interactions. What’s next for you as an artist? I’ve recently had an exhibition of paintings and ceramics called ‘Field of Possibility” in Cape Town. Also, our collaborative project (on gender based violence) with the Keiskamma Art Project called Ubumbano/Unite was held at the Nelson Mandela Art Museum. As an artist, I'm constantly evolving and exploring new avenues for creative expression and activism. Moving forward, I will continue creating work that explores the emotional potentiality between the artist, the artwork and the viewer. I will also continue to evolve my painting and ceramic practice. Last word of motivation for future generation of Crawfordians? Embrace curiosity, diversity, and kindness. Challenge norms, lead with empathy, and don’t be afraid to fail - failure means you have tried something new and can teach us more about ourselves. Use your education to create positive change. Dream big, act boldly, and shape a future where compassion reigns. The world awaits your extraordinary gifts. More information on the artist: Website: www.deborahweberart.com Instagram: @deborahweberart
25 Apr, 2024
In a recent Crawford International blog, we delved into the topic of temperament in children. We described ‘temperament’ as a person’s inner nature, which affects their overall behaviour. We also explained that temperament makes up only part of a person’s larger personality and we identified the four different types of temperament, including: phlegmatic, melancholic, choleric and sanguine. In that blog, we focussed on the characteristics of the high performing Choleric Child. Click here to read our blog called, Choleric Children: Diving into the dominant personality. This blog is the second instalment in the temperament series and focuses on the Sanguine child aka Little Miss or Mr Social. Outline of the sanguine temperament The sanguine child is the most social of all the temperaments. They are not only a ray of sunshine in any room, but they are also the main source of fun in any social situation. Sanguine children are often the social glue that binds different personalities. They are usually popular and have many friends, spanning different social groups. Sanguine children are also extremely observant. They notice small details of other people. “Are those new earrings Auntie Claire?,” or “It looks like you are limping, did you hurt yourself?” are typical statements to come out of a sanguine child. They have a way of making everyone they come across feel seen and important, and it’s because of this that they are so well-liked. Core traits of a sanguine child Confident Optimistic Talkative Extroverted Influential Inspirational Creative Fun Poor concentration Impulsive Disorganised Tips on how to support a sanguine child Because the sanguine child is so much fun to be around, they tend to get away with a lot. Their yearning for adventure often means they find it hard to knuckle down and do their work. They often neglect to plan and find it hard to concentrate. When things don’t go their way, they will charm you with their personalities and “help” you forget their flaws. They are known as the “charming child”. Here are some tips on how to support a sanguine child: Parents and teachers need to offer the sanguine child structure and routine – which they initially battle to put together themselves. The more simple the routine, the easier a sanguine child will stick to it. You will however need to monitor their progress and encourage consistency. This will help them organise their work and their lessons better, which will ultimately aid in better results. Going hand in hand with the structure and routine support, comes outlining clear expectations for your sanguine child. Setting rules and boundaries for them, and being consistent with your discipline, will help them to be more disciplined in their own work. They will then develop self-control and will therefore attain their goals. Parents and teachers need to allow the sanguine child to be creative . Give them opportunities to lead in areas of visual arts and music. Allow them to create lesson plans for the class, or to lead a section or topic, encouraging them to make it fun for the class. This is what they are good at, and they will be learning as they go. Compartmentalise larger tasks! Sanguine children get distracted easily and lose concentration quickly. If you break large projects into smaller tasks then it will make it easier for the sanguine child to tackle the work. Sanguine children like fun . So, make it fun! At Crawford International we pride ourselves on offering other ways of learning. Using games, visual aids, songs, re-enactments and even practical tasks to share knowledge. Sanguine children love praise – especially in front of their peers. Giving positive reinforcement will build you child’s confidence, and this will flow to their peers. Sanguine children always use their positivity to build others up around them. In conclusion, sanguine children are a joy to teach and to parent. Remember to have a little patience, understanding and creativity, and your sanguine child will thrive and they will absolutely reach their full potential.
Discover effective revision techniques to reduce exam stress and enhance your performance. Start aci
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How To Reduce Exam Stress Through Revision Did you know that studying and revision are two different things? In a nutshell, ‘studying’ refers to the initial exposure a student has to the course material. This happens in the classroom or by reading the textbook. Revision, however, is what happens after the initial study happens and relates to strategies or techniques used to visit and revisit the course material at consistent intervals, in order to gain a deeper understanding and easier recall. The 2,3,5,7 revision method This method refers to the intervals at which revision is done, after the initial learning has taken place. Day 2 and day 3 are revision days of the learning achieved on Day 1. Day 4 is a rest day, while Day 5 you re-visit the work. Day 6 is another rest day, and finally Day 7 is your last re-visit opportunity before you write your exam. These revision sessions should not take more than 45 minutes, with a 15-minute break. Planning your revision will ensure that you get what you need done, instead of ‘wandering’ about the content aimlessly. You can use various revision strategies to help you learn the course material in different ways. What are some revision strategies? Did you know there is ‘Active’ revision and ‘Passive’ revision? Passive revision is simply reading the course material, typing out neat notes, and highlighting sentences. This is very simplistic and not enough to get the information into your memory. Active revision, on the other hand, is a more energetic approach and uses different methods to learn and understand the content. Here are some handy revision methods: In the Past: Past papers are a fantastic way to simulate an actual exam while testing your knowledge of the coursework. First, do the test as if it’s a live exam. Then test your answers against your own notes. Once you are sure of your answers, mark yourself against the memo. On the cards: Flash cards (and colourful sticky notes) are great for active revision because you have to take the comprehensive information and condense it into a single card or note. This requires understanding of the work. Comfort in numbers: Grab some friends and create a pop-up study group. Not only will others keep you motivated, but they will also be your sounding board as you teach them concepts (without your notes) and they can also act as a guide if you are stuck on some material. Rap it: The same way song words stick in your head, if you add a melody or a rhyme to information, you will remember the facts more easily. For instance: ‘Wishy-washy on his own, signed it was a whale bone’. A silly rhyme to remember that George Washington, signed the Treaty of Independence in Nantucket (home of the whale) – for example. Rest it: You simply cannot revise all the time! It’s exhausting and unproductive. Build some flexibility into your revision plan because self-care is important to learning. Sleep, eat, revise, play and repeat. Setup a Revision Timetable So now you know what you need to do, create a timetable to manage your revision slots. Start with a blank month page and add the following to your timetable: Fixed activities. This includes school time, sport practices and matches, family commitments , etc. Flexibles activities. This includes exercise, chores, socialising, meal times and games. Hot hours. Analyse when you work best, such as in the morning or the night. Steal open hours this time because that’s when you’ll get the best quality revision done. Exam Dates. Once you’ve added your assessment dates, work backwards from those dates to make sure you have enough revision time. How much time is enough time? Remember our 2,3,5,7 method above, featuring 45 minute slots with a 15 minute break? Apply that method as best you can and soon it will become clear if you have enough time or not. Tricky first. For each of your subjects, write down the main topics or sections. Now rate how confident you are in those topics. The topics you are least confident in should be the ones you tackle first, practise longest, and the ones you re-visit most often. Now that you have some sort of structure to your revision, start today! That one hour you would’ve spent lying in the bath watching reels can now be spent revising one section for 45 minutes, and then you can lie in the bath for the remaining 15 minutes. Take responsibility and plan well. Crawford International students please know this: we understand that exam time can be stressful. We believe that if you simply revise your work (as stated above), then you will alleviate your exam anxiety. Remember too that we are all here to help you if you are struggling. All you have to do is ask.
05 Apr, 2024
Choleric Children: Diving Into The Dominant Personality Have you ever heard anyone say, “He has such a lovely temperament” or, “She can be very temperamental?” Have you ever wondered what that really means? The dictionary will tell you that temperament is a person’s nature or consistent behaviour. The important thing to remember, however, is that temperament makes up only part of a person’s larger personality. At Crawford International, we are aware that all children have different personality types and different temperaments, and we strive to teach all of them in the way that they will learn best, a personalised learning journey. There are four identified temperaments. They are: phlegmatic, melancholic, sanguine, and choleric. A phlegmatic temperament is one found in an easy-going child, They are usually very relaxed, contemplative, and often shy. The phlegmatic child is a peace-loving soul who would rather be left to their own devices than to be stirred into action. A melancholic child is a deep thinker and a sensitive soul. They are extremely averse to risk and challenge and rather look at a situation with compassion and understanding. The sanguine temperament is the most social and happy of all the temperaments. They are energised by change and spur-of-the-moment decisions. They are usually positive people and like to talk, and talk, and talk. A breakdown of the Choleric Child: The final temperament, and the focus of our blog today, is the choleric child: Outline of the Choleric Temperament The choleric child can be described as the ‘hero’ child. They are highly motivated, results-driven people who always want to win. They have intense interests in many different things and always achieve well in whatever they do. They are ambitious and will take on projects, sports, and activities with lots of energy, often dominating other kids in the process. They are born leaders, but sometimes they can be so focused on results that they overlook feelings and may lack compassion. Traits of a choleric child Confident and assertive Self-motivated Energetic Decisive Goal orientated Can be quick-tempered and often irritable May have control issues. Tips on how to support a choleric child The choleric child is not a walk in the park, but they are certainly a fun ride and a constant source of pride for parents. They have big personalities and they need “big” parenting and positive reinforcement in all teaching. Here are some tips on how to support a choleric child: Choleric children are often so driven, that when they don’t win they have a tendency to take it very hard. Parents and teachers need to offer positive verbal cues and an analytical situation assessment, which will help them to see the bigger picture and to recognise that lessons learned are often the real ‘win’. Choleric children are outspoken and say whatever comes to mind. They do this because they are analytical, not emotional, and can sometimes be out of touch with other people’s feelings. Here, parents and teachers need to slow the choleric child down and to encourage them to think before they speak and to consider the perspective and feelings of others. Choleric children have an innate need to control and often dominate situations. While this leads to natural leadership roles, at other times this can be overbearing to other children. Parents and teachers must acknowledge the choleric child’s need for control and allocate “important” tasks to them that they can self-manage. A choleric child will have a strong desire to try new things and will make it their mission to conquer those things. Parents and teachers, don’t stand in their way! Get behind them with the tools, lessons, books, and people, who will be able to give them the best shot at achieving. A choleric child has a need for independence. They want to do it on their own because they want you to be proud of them when it’s done. Parents and teachers, you need to offer the choleric child trust. Nobody wants their child to burn themselves with fire, but if you teach a choleric child to build a fire properly, then step back and allow them to do it – they will surprise you with how well it will be done. Choleric children can often become frustrated because things are not moving as fast as they need them to or because they are not in control of the situation. This can cause conflict with their peers, parents, and teachers alike. Parents and teachers be patient. Allow the choleric child the time to cool down, then discuss the matter with them in a mature, quiet, and caring way.
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