Self-esteem

Di Dawes • April 7, 2021

Self-esteem in children

A child stands in front of a yellow wall that says believe in yourself

While wanting your child to grow and develop into a happy, confident individual is normal for many parents, it is not always obvious how to help them achieve this goal. Every child is different, and even children within the same family may have varying needs and challenges. Self- esteem, however, is universally important for all children.


What Is Self-Esteeem?


Self-esteem is, in its simplest definition, the way you feel about yourself.

When children feel confident about themselves and their abilities, they have good self-esteem. Self-esteem is one of the measures of a child’s overall mental health.


Self-esteem develops throughout your child’s life and serves different purposes at different stages. For instance, babies develop persistence and perseverance and the belief that they can accomplish things through effort. They learn how to roll over, sit and stand on their own with repeated attempts. Toddlers develop self-esteem as they reach milestones like dressing themselves, feeding themselves or using the bathroom. The process of attempting things which at first seem difficult and not giving up is essential to the development of confidence. Effort should be praised and encouraged at all times.


Why Is Self-Esteem Important?


Self-esteem matters because it directly impacts the way children act every day. According to the National Network for Child Care your child’s self-esteem affects friendships with other children, ability to manage peer pressure, success in school and the ability to problem-solve.


Children with good self-esteem are also better able to deal with strong emotions, both good and bad, and to cope with challenges and frustrations when they arise.


Research is showing, categorically, that a child’s level of confidence and self-esteem is enhanced with age-appropriate responsibility and expectations. We, as parents, often want to do things for our children and don’t teach them to do things for themselves. Basic self-help skills such as dressing themselves, feeding themselves, packing away their toys and putting their belongings in specific places so that they are not misplaced are essential. There is a correlation between the level of independence and autonomy of the child and his/her self-esteem.


Confidence is developed through successfully doing things for ourselves. By helping our children rather than teaching them to do things for themselves (and standing by to assist if necessary) we rob them of the chance to develop self-confidence.


Ways You Help Your Child Build Self-Esteem


The question then is how can we help to ensure that our children learn the self-help skills and responsibility? Here are some ideas:


1. Give children tasks around the house when they are young


From about 2 years of age young children have a strong desire to help out. They can do much more than you think. Be patient and creative.


Allowing children to help builds confidence and enthusiasm and a sense of belonging. My 2 year-old grandson feeds the cats and the fish every day. I generally have to remind him but he knows exactly how to do it and loves the responsibility. In summer his job was to water the strawberries. We did get water all over the place and he became distracted by the stream but the strawberries were always watered.


2. Praise your children when they have managed a task independently


Specifically point out what you like about their behaviour. I am so proud of you for dressing yourself today. It gave me more time to get breakfast ready. Do this even if the child has the t-shirt on backwards or has paired odd colours. It is usually easier to start by asking your child to undress.


3. Talk about responsibility frequently


Make responsibility a family value; let them know it is important.

Describe the responsible behaviour that you see. For example: You took your plate and cup to the kitchen. Thank you for being so responsible.


4. Model responsible behaviour for your children


This is where they will learn it from. Take care of your own belongings.

Try to be punctual. Your children are watching you very closely! They learn more by watching you than they do from listening to what you say. Expect them to behave responsibly. Use the opportunity to teach them when they don’t.


5. Have a strong, unfailing belief that your child is capable


Children pick up on this belief and they tend to rise to the level of expectation. Keep believing in them, even when they make mistakes!


I love to do things for my grandchildren. It makes me feel as though I am caring for them but I need to rather make the effort to teach and stand back and watch them do things for themselves. It takes more patience and is time consuming but the reward is confident children who believe that they CAN.


Di Dawes


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Open Days and School Tours: What Parents Need to Know As parents consider the best school for their child, Open Days and school tours present a valuable opportunity to experience a school’s ethos, environment and offering beyond the website or brochure. With Crawford International’s Gauteng campuses hosting their Open Day on 6 September , now is an ideal time for families to prepare meaningfully for this milestone in the admissions process. Why Open Days Matter Open Days give prospective families the chance to walk the grounds, meet teachers and school leadership, observe students in their learning environment and get a genuine feel for the school community. These visits provide insights that go beyond test results and academic reports; they reveal whether the school’s values, communication style and approach to learning feel right for your child. Research shows that school visits play a significant role in influencing parents’ final decisions and improving satisfaction with school placement outcomes (OECD, 2021). What to Look For When visiting a school, pay close attention to the atmosphere in the classroom. Are students engaged? Is the space warm and welcoming? What role does technology play in day-to-day learning? At Crawford International, families often notice a culture that encourages students to ask questions, challenge assumptions and explore content through real-world connections. Facilities can also tell a story. Whether it’s a well-resourced science lab, a digital innovation hub, inviting sports fields or performance spaces, the layout and design reflect the school’s broader vision. According to research by Edutopia (2020), school infrastructure directly impacts student learning, motivation and wellbeing. At Crawford, we’ve created environments that support future-focused learning. You’ll find spaces designed to inspire collaboration, creativity and independence. Questions to Ask During a Tour To make your visit count, come prepared with a few thoughtful questions. This helps you gain a clearer sense of what matters to the school and how your child might be supported there. You could ask: How are students supported academically and emotionally? What enrichment and extra-curricular programmes are available? How does the school encourage positive discipline and wellbeing? What are the communication tools used between teachers and parents? Are there opportunities for leadership, service and global engagement? If you are also considering boarding, it’s a good idea to ask about daily routines, support structures, supervision and how weekends are spent. The South African Council for Educators (SACE, 2022) notes that transparent communication and pastoral support are key markers of quality educational institutions. Crawford’s Open Day At Crawford International, Open Days are more than a walkthrough. They are a chance to see how we live out our values. Across all phases from Pre-Primary through to College we encourage students to take ownership of their learning. Our aim is to nurture curious, confident, and capable young people who understand their role in the world around them. On the day, families have the chance to speak directly with teachers and students, explore classrooms where technology is integrated, and learn more about how we personalise learning to meet individual student needs. It’s also an opportunity to see how we build critical thinking, collaboration and character into everyday learning experiences. Choosing a school is about more than academics. It’s about finding a community where your child feels seen, supported and challenged in all the right ways. Open Days are one of the most important steps in that journey. So come prepared. Ask questions. Walk through the spaces. Speak to students and teachers. Crawford International Gauteng campuses open their doors on 6 September [UB2] . Our North Coast campus in KwaZulu-Natal, which offers boarding facilities, welcomes families throughout the year; every day is an Open Day. We invite you to take a closer look and see how we are helping students grow into their fullest potential both in the classroom and beyond
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